parts of me remind me of you

i lie in my bed
alone and awake
you are not here any more
you left
you left me crying on the floor
when you walked out the door
you said our relationship had become painful
you said i was too serious
that i was expecting way too much
that you wanted out
you pretended to love me
i knew it was a game
i wanted your love
but it’s not the same

i’m lying on my bathroom floor
i closed the door
i am naked
the cold tiles heavy on my skin
feeling like a mistake
his mistake
the pain has overcome me
the pain too much to take
i have no energy
to lift myself from my bathroom floor
i can’t pull myself up
but i manage to do it
even though it still hurts

i’m on my knees
by my pure white bathtub
yes, my bathroom is all white
with flowers at the windows
i turn the taps on
and watch the water fill up
i sit in the water
i pull my knees up to my face
and sob until i have nothing left
wet hair
wet skin
water dripping from my face like loss and regret
the happy times i can’t forget
nothing but hurt and anger
of a broken relationship i loved so much
now it’s something that i used to know
i don’t know why

i managed to drag myself
out of my bath
and into my bed
it feels so safe and familiar and warm
i am under the covers
where it’s safest for me
i can hear the rain outside
raindrops falling down my window
a sound i know very well
i think i always will
i lay on my side
my hand spread on your pillow on your side
of our bed
i’m looking at it with sad eyes
i silently sigh
i have no fight left
i close my eyes
and fall asleep
with rain falling against my window.

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Author: kateelizabethxoxo

Blogger and Writer

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