who i want to be

i left my window open
because my nights have become too humid
i can’t cope
the nights are lying to me
the mornings are always truthful
i suppose it’s quite comforting
but it doesn’t make it any less comforting
it’s always lonely
lonely days
lonely nights
are relentless pretty much every day
i can live with that
everything is always relentless anyway

lying in my bed alone
hardly gets any easier
the coldness of my bedsheets
when my hand touches the pillow
it weighs me down
yet again
making nights hard to sleep
without you
it’s a lonely thing to feel

my nights are darker and colder
with no one to hold my hand
through this storm in my mind
storms are always
drawn to me like a moth to a flame
lightning and thunder
can be a deadly combination
scary, frightening yet fascinating
yet it’s really scary
because you’re not here
and i am more alone
than i’ve ever been

and writing about you has gone
i’m done with that
silly me
but still somehow it’s still my fault that i’m done writing about you
and i am missing you
like a disease
i can’t get rid of
you were my disease

i go to sleep every night
loneliness sets in
and i know is never easy
but it’s alright
i am coping living without you
and i am alright alone
because
i am who i want to be

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Author: kateelizabethxoxo

Blogger and Writer

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