The first time I washed my hair
I wasn’t sure what to do
What was shampoo?
What was conditioner?
The bottles
Filled with sweet smelling things
I was not familiar with
Standing in my bathroom
Near my bath

The first time water touched my hair
It was cold and clear
But it felt really nice
Water rushing over my head like a long lost lover who had abandoned me years ago
He even remembers my name
And who I was
Not who I used to be
He still loves me

He runs a bath for me
He waits for me to undress and get in
He pours a single blob
Of shampoo
Into those hands I used to be familiar with
My hair is already vulnerable and soaking wet from this bathtub of salty tears from the taps like a badly written poem in messy handwriting
From a child
Who is learning how to write

He lathers up my hair and starts to wash it
Creating soapy bubbles that is a familiar individual I’m still learning about
Or become my friend
Oh how I want it to be my friend
I don’t feel so lonely
I don’t know if I was ever lonely to begin with or in the first place because
Being alone is something I had grown to have gotten used to
Oh I hated being alone
I used to sit and cry so hard my heart felt like exploding
And I couldn’t do anything except stop and wait
For my heart that is fragile from loneliness
Fingers trying to grab at it
Trying to rip it out my chest it physically hurts
And I can’t stop that

My love starts to dry my hair
With a towel so soft I can hardly feel it
Even though it’s there
And I like that feeling
Because my lover is drying my hair
How can he ever still love me?
That’s the question that has no answer for me
Why does it have no answer?
Because I can’t find one
And I am sorry.



Author: kateelizabethxoxo

Blogger and Writer

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